Destiny: A Matter of Choice or Chance?

 QUESTION

“Is destiny a matter of chance? or a matter of choice?”

ANSWER

Is destiny a matter of choice, or is it a matter of chance?

And does knowing really matter?

To clarify here’s what DESTINY means

1. The events that will necessarily happen to a particular person or thing in the future.
2. The hidden power believed to control what will happen in the future; fate.

Back home, Mommy has this display that says “Destiny is not a matter of chance, it is a matter of choice, it is not a thing to be waited for, it is a thing to be achieved.”

So, I went on with life, never questioning destiny. I knew I have an active part in what will happen in my future.

I know there is God and He has all the good planned out for me, but He has also given me free will to become the person that He really intends me to be… as for the future?… I’ve always believed in this song learned from high school…

God knows all about tomorrow,

He can see  beyond today..

Be it filled with joy or sorrow,

He has planned it that way..

So I do not fear the future, on His promises I stand,

God knows all about tomorrow, for He holds it in His hands.

Everything that I was doing, thought of doing, thinking of doing or plan to do will all have a positive and negative effect in my life.Life may be full of “CHANCE”.  I won’t call it coincidences or accidents, but rather opportunities or lessons… and I know, I will always have a “CHOICE” as to how I will perceive, act or learn from the “chances” that life continues to give me.

Interesting topic, destiny, and all of you who commented here, are all correct. I’m not a guru, not even an expert.. just wanting to excite your thoughts with something to think about…

Honestly for me, destiny is a matter of faith.

AND this I know, we create our future with the power of our thoughts. Whatever our mind can conceive and believe, it will achieve… including our destiny, with God’s blessings

NAMASTE.

Thoughts on Giving

 QUESTIONS

“What are your thoughts on giving?”, “What is real giving?”

 

ANSWERS
“What are your thoughts on giving?

“Givers gain – takers lose”
“The hand that gives – gathers”
“As you sow, so shall you reap”

Simple answers, I am sure we all know about it but sometimes how we are on giving of ourselves, our time, our service, and especially our money are areas to work on.

“What is real giving?”
Two answers:
I believe it is when there are no explanations about it, no excuses, no side-comments,
no justifications just 100% offering of self, money, time and service;AND when one does not expect anything in return at all!Let’s all strive for real giving EVERYDAY.Our RESULTS: We will fall in love with ourselves, our lives and EVERYONE we meet.

NAMASTE.

BE BLESSED!

Responding to Negatives

 SCENARIO

A friend confronts you and tells you that according to PEOPLE
you are like this (NEGATIVE 1) and like that (NEGATIVE 2), how will you respond?

 

ANSWER

My response will be to ask, “What about you, do you feel the same way?” 

This way we can start a conversation, we can communicate.
” Let me know you, let me know your thoughts about me…
Let us not talk about what OTHERS are saying about me…
let’s just talk about you and me”.This way, we can settle whatever differences we have and work on our relationship.

I’ve learned early in life that I will never ever be able to please everyone;
there will always be people saying something good and something bad about me,
not that they don’t matter because they do, especially if there is something to learn that I may have missed
or until now, has not learned yet.

The thing is we ­­can always choose our battle, learn our lessons and move on.

BE BLESSED!

The Leader in Me.

Summer of 2010, I received a personalized letter from the new principal at the under performing school I worked with in New Orleans. He started so strong and was so determined and challenged that just after a couple of weeks, teachers were on their toes teaching with a different passion,  students behavior seemed to change and teams were eager to communicate and collaborate to make academics and behavior work!   The principal was just so into it that the staff, teachers and even the students could really picture the vision for the school to the point that we all, one way or another,  actually believed that it will be achieved! He’s always out and about, he would  even co-teach a class, he’d whisper to students and ask them if they understood what’s being taught, he’d know his students with special needs that he’d ask them if they were being given accommodations. He simply made sure that everyone’s doing what they were supposed to be doing! It was a real 180 degree turn from what our school was prior to his leadership.

Clearly my vision of what leadership is about, when change is created, when you properly direct or guide your team to the achievement of the set goals, when your team is communicating, creating solutions not problems, when they are involved and invested in achieving the vision of the group and at the end of the day you know that you were able to empower your people, because as you bring out the best in them, it’s bringing out the best in you.

A leader plays many roles, wears many hats. What makes a leader great however is if he is not only able to lead a group into the achievement of its goals and vision, but more so if he is able to take leadership of his own self, his own experience, his own habits, his own cultural programming and his own thoughts.

Thus, we are all leaders, we may not be great ones yet, but what is important is if we are able to lead our own thoughts into that we earnestly desire, then we may be surprised to have all our goals and vision achieved just because we are able to lead ourselves into it. Let me repeat, If we are able to lead our own thoughts into that we earnestly desire, then we may be surprised to have all our goals and vision achieved just because we are able to lead ourselves into it. We may not know yet but that is how powerful we are!

The principal I had in New Orleans knew what he wanted. He was very clear and decided to make his goals happen. He will not say no for an answer. To him, there is always a solution… He’d say, “So? What can you do about it?” If you are bringing him a problem, be sure to bring him solution too!

And that’s how powerful we are, because if we just keep quiet and think about it, there are no problems without solutions, so it’s not even a problem at all. Leaders will always find ways to make things happen. But this is not to say we can just do what we think we should do, because we are responsible and accountable for our actions too. We should also make sure that we know how are actions are impacting others.

The question now is how do we lead ourselves into achieving our goals? How do we get from Point A to Point B? Napoleon Hill said, if the mind can conceive and believe, it will achieve. The answer is all about knowing what you want with all your heart and soul, believing it will happen in due time and then it will happen, like magic! Pieces of the puzzle will fit, circumstances will change, different mechanisms will just appear leading to its achievement! Our mind is simply powerful. So we should really be careful on what we are thinking about. Our thoughts could really make things happen. Our thoughts could change our world.

Knowing ourselves and achieving by simply changing our thoughts is power. With great power, though comes great responsibility. The Principal in New Orleans knew that, he knew how powerful he is and that is why he was able to create change in his workplace, because he allowed us, teachers and staff to believe in ourselves too, and in our power.

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180 degree

“Lord, give me a boyfriend, pleaseeeeeeee….” I was 15 then and I still had no boyfriend. I belonged to NBSB club – No Boyfriend Since Birth! My life was going well though, I was getting A’s in school, and yes, I had boys as friends but never a boyfriend!!!

Oh I had fun memories with boys.. I had this neighbor who was my long time crush, he’s just so good-looking.. I really liked him!!! So, I went to this very small store in our subdivision, and as I was walking, minding my business, singing and humming.and then I looked up.. OMG, my long time crush was staring at me with smile on his face.. my heart thumped so fast that when I took another step towards him, my slipper slipped off my feet!!! I was so embarrassed, but to show him how confident I was, I continued singing and humming as I went back to get my slippers! :0

One more, when I was a freshman in high school, I met this senior guy, that every time he’d see me, he’d tease me to his friend, who’s also a senior! There’s this one time when I was in the playground playing in the monkey bars (hey, I was only 13 then, I could play!) and then he saw me and from afar  shouted ‘Gemmmaaaaaa!! (that’s my name), here’s ‘theboyyyyy’!!!!’ and the whole senior class just roared in laughter!!!! I was soooooo embarrassed that I was not sure anymore how I handled the situation! :0

Having been educated in a Catholic private school my whole life, I was brought into thinking that girls could only wait, until a guy courts you, then all you have to do is wait.

So I waited.. and waited… and waited… I graduated high school and college and I still waited..

But I was proactive too, I looked out for guys everywhere, in the public bus, in the library, in the church, in the classroom, in the cafeteria, in the restaurants. I started conversations, even befriended them.. but still nada…

What’s worst is when I attend family gatherings, ask who’s the center of attention (or so I thought)? Yeah.. ME!! Gemma, you mean to say you still have no boyfriend yet?; Gemma, you are getting old, you should look for a man already; Gemma, it’s about time… over and over and over; year after year after year…

Fed up with how I perceived people as controlling me. I made a decision. I turned around.. 180 degree turn and learned my lesson… What’s the lesson? Mmmmm.. what’s the lesson? good question..

The lesson: To never GIVE UP! I continued to hope and continued to pray… “Lord…” but at the same time, I prepared myself emotionally, mentally, physically and spiritually,,, I buried myself in self-help books ‘How to find a man in 10 days” or something of that sort (lol), I attended leadership training seminars (I could find him there right?).. I exercised (nothing beats a sexy body! lol!) I became myself… man should love me for who I am and what not (right?) .. and I continued to imagine and declared to the Universe what I want.

Well, there’s a truth in the saying, when it rains, it pours! Because it did pour, at that time Guy #1, Guy #2, Guy #3, did come..

And then I was in control.. who to choose.. mmm but that’s another story…

Well, I am sorry but I totally disagree with Jerry Mcguire’s “you complete me”. No, no, no, no.. no one completes you but you. You are already complete!

I may have been pressured to find a boyfriend in my 20′s because of media and the world howling at me that it is the right thing to do. It took me so long to realize that no one completes me but me, I may be single then, but I was complete and I need to make sure I am whole first before going into a relationship.. otherwise, it’ll be a mess .

Sad, but the truth is we so hate waiting that most of us just jump at every relationship and just easily open our hearts to the first guy who says I love you, or to the guy who buys us this or buys us that… sad..

I’ll forever be grateful to all my friends, family and relatives for pushing me the way they did. I will not have become the person that I am now, without the fun and the sad times..

Waiting did work out for me. I waited for a year… errr.. yearsss!!!, and that waiting period made me become stronger, learned and capable of handling relationships. Yes, building relationship is hard work because it involves decision and commitment.

Maybe God willed for me to wait that long, to preserve myself to the person that He prepared for me.

In the end, I didn’t actually find him, you know…  my boyfriend-turned-husband found me. All in due time, all in His time and all because of the 180 degree turn.

*** Toastmaster’s Speech #4

StReSsEd!!!

“I realize that I will never have control of what other people  think of me, what they say about me or what other people told them about me… all these, I have no control of BUT, I can control ME. People will always have something  to say, but at the end of the day, what matters is what I am saying to myself! People may pressure me because, I do not conform to their social ways, but that doesn’t matter, for as long as I know who I am and what direction I am going, then I am fine.”

Or am I?

There are many forms of stress. The one stress that is beyond our control and that we shouldn’t even try to control is  the behavior of other people. Particularly, people who back fight, people who falsely accuse you, or people who just want to make you feel bad.

I learned early on that we cannot please everybody. There will always be people who are for us, and against us, and along the way lessons will be learned. I held on to that.

My funny story was that yesterday, my boss came to tell me that a principal called for him telling him about an issue on me. The head teacher reported that the new teacher told her that I declared that I am her boss and that even she, the head teacher, is under me! – Wow! A  real made up story coming from a supposed to be professional! There’s no truth to it at all!!

Never in my wildest dream would there be a need for that! I mean, if I’m the real boss, my subordinates would have already known right?!   It makes no sense! First and foremost, if I did say it, what value will it give me, will it increase my paycheck? no, right?  Second of all, what will power- tripping do to me if my job is simply to support them with their work? and Third of all, why would she lie? why would the new teacher put words into my mouth and accuse me of something I didn’t even say?!!!

Some would flare up knowing that and I did too.. so I told my boss what happened and what didn’t happen the day I met with the new teacher,  who was with us the whole time and told him my story. I even asked permission to send an email to the head teacher who’s been lied to and/or meet with everybody, just so everything will be cleared. I even proposed to my boss to hear the new teacher’s side just so he is seeing the two sides of a coin.. No Fears!

People handle stress differently. In the old days, I would have been confrontational about it. This time, I’ve decided on a more responsible way of doing things, follow my boss. He told me to let it be. He said, I have done nothing wrong so there is no need for further response. It is a new direction for me, the road less traveled, and decided to go for it. Not to control the uncontrollable.  I let it be.

So today, I greeted my boss, Good morning Mr., from the boss, the boss speaks and had a laugh about it, and he told me the new teacher is now looking for another job.. too early a karma.

I’m still pondering on where the new teacher is coming from, but instead of looking at it in the victim mode, I didn’t, you see-  it’s all good in the end,  for truly, I’m the boss. I am the boss of my own thoughts. I am the boss of my own creative world. I control me.  I am unique and I am incomparable. I lead me to my heart’s desires.

I have no control of what people may think, say, or do behind my back. For as long as I am at peace with how I treat people and myself, for as long as I know who I am and  what direction I am going  then I’m good.

Finally, you know what, maybe, she’s not telling lies after all, because, who knows, she may be prophesying and I’ll really become the head teacher’s boss someday! How fun would that be?

And so it is.

Not too late…

So, I went to the schools… and in one of the schools, I met an active 88 year-old Special Education Teacher. 88 years old!!!!!!

A lot of things ran through my mind. Ok, she’s 88. She still teaches… BUT – What about technology? What about making IEPs (Individualized Education Plan)??? Uh oh.

So I hugged her. I told her we need to do a lot of things this year. I posted all the pertinent materials on her cabinet. I taught her what to do. I informed her, we will do this, one step at a time! Guess what I found out- she’s a lot of fun! for her age!

After teaching her on how to do the 1st page of the IEP, she asked me, “alright, now answer me, What are gerunds? What are participial adjectives?” I laughed, hard!  She told me, “see there a lot of things that I know, and I am sure you know a lot of things too. So as you teach me I will review you with English matters, is that a deal?”

And there began our journey. IEP data collection –  she does the errands, the testing, the interviewing, I make her write the meat of the IEP, I help her with the rest. So far, so good.

Seeing her do all these things, watching her walk, hearing her teach, listening to her funny statements and  feeling her presence in the room, made me realize a lot of things about life.

Age doesn’t matter. She said when she turned 70 she just accepted things. She likes everyone. She understands people’s uniqueness and she just lives her life one day at a time.

I asked her ” Why are you still here in school?”, she answered, ” Why not? What will I do at home, my husband’s dead!”. Mmmm, makes sense. She continued, “I would have been traveling too, but I don’t want to travel alone. I like gardening…” I interrupted, “then go gardening!”, she continued, “No, I don’t want to do gardening alone!”, and deducted, nope, she’s not going anywhere.

We can keep going if we want to. Retirement doesn’t and shouldn’t stop us. I can continue to love working, continue to use my brain, remain active and alive for as long as I want to. For as long as I want to.

The teacher’s 88 and she’s got a lot of special education and English resource matters going for her. She complains not. She is determined. And never mind if she is 88, I don’t discriminate. I get inspired. Really!

Health is wealth. The gift of health is I think what I’ll be praying for when I get to her age. At her age, she still enjoys what she can. At her age, she still enjoys life.

No one is too old to learn new technology. At 88 years old, she’s got FB!!! Hahaha, joke! But yes, she remembers her user id and password in almost all the websites that she needs to be using, she knows her Microsoft Office basics and yes she can even communicate via email!

Love what you do. She stopped me one time and told me, “Maria, I really want to make sure I am on time, SO, if you want, I can work with you after school and during weekends… Actually tomorrow, Saturday, I will be here in school to work on things!” Mmmm… still thinking if that’s too much love of work? or that at her age there isn’t much “life” she can afford to do?

At this time, though I’m still puzzled why she chose to be where she at now, I respect her. I respect her choices and how up to this time, she continues to be giving of her time, talent and skills. For as long as teaching makes her alive and happy then so be it.

The challenge now is, if she can do it at her AGE, then I ______________….

And so it is..