I heard or read somewhere that life will continue to give us lessons until we learn it.
I was so idealistic, perfectionist and wouldn’t tolerate students who were cheating, talking while I was teaching and not doing their work. Yeah, I was really mean! Many of my former students would attest to that!
The thing was even if I knew I needed to change, I continued on doing what I was doing because I was afraid if I lost my control, if I became friendly and acted my age (I was just 20 then!, some of my students were even older than me!), I felt my students wouldn’t respect me and may took advantage of my kindness.
So I continued on with my demeanor; I pushed my students to meet my expectations!
I was the authority; they needed to follow my commands.
My students knew that they should to focus on my lecture; otherwise, they would be criticized, embarrassed and put down.
I was happy my students were struggling to study my subject! I was happy they couldn’t cheat, well, because I would make 3 sets of test for a single lesson!
But I also knew in time I needed to stop my “being so mean” and learn to find ME again.
Lord, may You continue to guide us as we face life’s challenges. May we be freed from fear and negativity. Instead, may we open ourselves to love, trust and acceptance. In Jesus’ name.