Archive for the ‘Love’ Category

I always pictured him coming soon.
I am doubtless that I’d tell my friends.. when I see him I’d know it’s him.
I’d know him when he comes.
That belief never left me.
I just know it will happen.
And it will happen soon.

I was never a fan of long engagements or long boyfriend-girlfriend thingy. It’s like why would I prolong the relationship if it will not work? It’s like a waste of time for me. My thinking was if you really love each other,  then you make it work. Love is a commitment not a feeling. There’s no justice for me in getting the heartaches of break-ups from one boyfriend to another.. Well, it’s just me. So, I waited.

It took years.
I started believing at 16.
He came at 24.
And he did come!
My belief led me to him.

I was never doubting, I have always known it will happen and it will happen soon. I was just 100% positive about it.
And when men came, each one has their own story, but my mind was still when I see him, the very first time, I’d know it’s him. And true enough.

The very first time was like knowing him for the longest time already!
As if we were friends way back then.
The day we met, made me feel like floating… as if a miracle’s happening!
He’s here! He came! And I know he is the one. The person in my dreams!

He came, in white. We talked, we laughed, we went to movies on our first date! the first date!!! I must have trusted him in my heart already that I’d went to movies with him on our first date! hahaha

It took 10 days. In that 10 days, I quarreled with him, we went to a 4 hour bus trip together for him to see my mom in the province. We went to church, attended mass, held hands and after watching another movie together, as we were leaving the theater I  told him he’s now officially my boyfriend.

Why be shy about what you feel? hahahha.. Why go through the what if he won’t ask me out again, what if he doesn’t want me to be his girlfriend thing, I just said what needs to be said. He’s now my boyfriend. Period.

Then he left for work abroad.

I’d miss him so much.. just thinking of him will make the phone ring..
just a thought of him would make him call me.. anytime I feel him.. in my mind.. and he’d call!  Weird. But it happened.
I was full of confidence that I was making a soul connection with him that I’d tell my friends how I miss him and true enough, the phone would ring with him on the line calling me.

That was real weird, but it just made me believe in the possibility that we can be soul mates. And so, after a year, we got married and well, the rest is history.

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"Mrs. Warner, how were you able to keep your love alive with your husband for so many years now?" I remember asking that to my African-American co-teacher in Special Education one time.


She said "Well, I don't know Gemma... I guess, you just have to do what you have to do Gemma, that's the only thing I know".


I have been away from my husband for so many months now...
Talk about keeping the love alive long distance..It's different this time, I am away. He is with our children.

From the very start, I have seen and felt deeply how he truly cares..From the very start, I have seen and felt how he has opened himself to me 100%..


From the very start, I have seen and felt how generous he is...From the very start, I have seen and felt how he enveloped me with his love..


It has been 7 years now.. (we are running 8 years this October) 7 years!


And still I don't understand why we would always quarrel. I don't understand what is wrong.


I hear him speak and yet I don't listen.I see him cry out and yet I don't understand.I feel him hurting and yet I let it be.


It is not until recently (after 7 long years!) that I realized what I am to him.I guess,I have been blinded by so much love he pours in me that I just let it be.I guess,I have been blinded by so much love he willingly gives that I take it for granted.I guess, I have been so accustomed to receiving, I forgot how to give.I guess, I have been blinded by so much love he shares that I forgot.


I forgot, what real love is.I forgot, to love.I forgot, to truly love.


When he came into my life, he changed me .. he continually does.


I felt I turned into a beautiful butterfly - guess it was just a feeling. For now I realized how rusty I am inside.


He was the wind beneath my wings.. he still is He is my true north... and I am proud to say..


I do not know what it is in me that he sees, I do not know why he is so patient, caring and loving with me, I do not know why he makes me feel worthy of his love..


But what I know now is that ... It can only go so far.


It takes two to tango. It takes two to make a relationship work.


And you know what? I never thought it could happen.
But it did happen.How unfortunate circumstance can lead one to see.Or a blessing for me to finally understand...


I just pray with all my heart..that God and time be on our side..that he would still endure time..


that he would remain faithful and loving still..that he would give me one chance..


so he'll see me change first hand.so he'll see me transform into a real beautiful swan in his eyes.


because now after 7 years, after 7 long years, I finally, remember.


I just have to do what I have to do.. to keep the love alive.. flaming and burning.


So 7 years becomes 70 one day.


Love you muy with all my heart and soul. Truly.


(Written four years ago.)


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I stumbled upon  notebooks of thoughts.. written from 1990 onwards, and read through it again.. I’m at awe at what I have written 17 years ago!

Following the love thoughts.. let me share with you this one piece written August 31, 1991.. I am 17 years old then!

Read  on…

Blithesome is your presence
The mirth in my eyes, I had never before experienced
You had touched and animated my existence
Where had you been all my life?

Things had been different since you came
Everything had been black and white then
My world had been one-sided, my constant struggle, living in wilderness
The ecstasy and rapture strange to my knowing
Nobody exist, until you showed up

You had bestowed me the love
that I had long ago forgotten
You lead me to reality, to the light
bringing back all the pieces together
You are someone special

The pain of waiting had halted
The long years of search, of desolation, of wanting had come to an end
Until now, I couldn’t believe that you’re real

I had never loved and be loved
Yet, you had made all my dreams come into reality
In my heart, there’ll be no one else like you ever again
I adore you and I hope you’ll stay forever and ever.

Guess that is what pocketbooks do to a 17-year-old who loves reading books and writing too!

At 33 (goodness! I am 33!) I am still love-struck…

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Mi Amor..

Just want to share with you the piece I’ve composed for my boyfriend who fathers my children hehe..

Read on..


I dreamt of you.. long before.. years ago…

Funny now.. I remember.. I would rush God for you

All the while, He would pacify me and tell me to WAIT a while.

“Wait a while”! “But, I have been waiting for long!”

And then He would lead me to other matters…

His way of preparing me to meet you.

I dreamt of you.. long before.. years ago…

Didn’t know then that I was forming you…

.. in my mind… in my heart… in my soul…

Funny now.. how dreams do come true

In time.

In God’s perfect time!

I’ve met you when I was ready..

Molded by God to meet you.

And  right there and then, I know…

It was you…

I dreamt of you.. long before.. and here you are!

As if we’ve communicated in our dreams for long…

As if we were long time friends who have met again…

As if you’re my twin, lost in heaven…

Dreams can be realized – indeed!

I dreamt of you.. and here you are!

My heart thumped so hard, ready to fall of my chest

You were just a dream.. and here you are!

And God was grinning, “My design, my child, my design”.

I was bewildered, stunned, shocked, mesmerized.. in all truth!

But deep within, my heart was full of gratefulness..

For God said “ Wait.. I have something good for you…

And you will know in Time!”

And it has come to pass. His words were realized.

My dream came true.

You found me. I welcomed you.

We smiled. We laughed. We cried.

We talked in words, in action, in silence.

We held hands. We kissed and embraced.

We made our vow, “to have and to hold,

From this day forward, until death do us part”.

And who would have thought? – a simple dream…

A dream of you…, came true!

We celebrated our 6th year wedding anniversary last October 8, 2006. We have 2 children, 4-year-old daughter and 7 month old baby boy.

Yes, I still dream but this time I dream with him! I’m the stubborn one! (Obvious?)

And who knows one day, one at a time.. it will all come true- again! Yahoo!!!

Hope all your dreams come true too! God Bless Us!

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