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Archive for the ‘Relationships’ Category

Have you ever experienced being pressured by your relatives and friends  to enter into a relationship already because YOU are getting older and no one’s courting you yet???

As if by that act, men would come and court you? As if it wasn’t your all-day no, all-year long  prayer – “Lord, give me a man to love, and who will love me back!” and yet, still there’s none!

I graduated high school and college and had not a boyfriend! Very focused on my studies, and knowing how my parents are working for my education – I graduated Cum Laude.. but I have no boyfriend!:)

It may be just me feeling the pressure every time, relatives, would ask if I have a boyfriend already and that it’s about time I have one.. and I would unconsciously come out with all the excuses about studies and all, face the mirror and see a beautiful swan, but men maybe seeing otherwise!!!

It’s funny now, looking back, how every Lenten season, our family would do “Visita Iglesia” and to all the churches that we would visit, my prayer is just the same “Lord, find me a boyfriend!” haha year after year after year.

And then at 24, he came! No, they came! – to the point that I need to choose which one! And fast forward, I got married, but that’s another story…

You maybe wondering what happened in between? How I survived years of single blessedness and no boyfriend since birth syndrome despite the eagerness to have one! Well, here’s what I did and I am pretty sure, someone, somewhere, sometime will benefit from my lovely experience.

First, I buried myself in Self-Help books, funny but being a book-lover that I am,  I love the smell of National Bookstore – Self-Help book section! With the books that I’ve read, I learned to love myself more and more, I learned to accept and trust people around me, I realized a lot of things about me and my universe, how my thoughts are changing me, how my actions are affecting others and most especially how I am attracting the persons that I want or not want to be in my life.  Reading Self-Help books is a BIG FACTOR why everything about me changed!

Second, I attended Leadership Training Seminars! Having a passion for learning and growth made me just want to learn so much more, so I’ll be so much more too! There’s no time to waste! I may not be a leader of my organization, but I am a leader of my own thoughts! I am a leader of my own life. Reasons don’t count anymore, only what results I am producing, making sure I am responsible and accountable for my actions. Leadership seminars helped!

Third, I visualized! From all the insights, all the trainings of all my books and facilitator mentors. I know in due time, my vision will come, because I have my heart set in to it! I know what I want, “a man – who will love and accept me as I am!”, “a man who knows how to listen and to understand”, “a man who is God-fearing”, and because I know what I want to have, I became who I want to have! Before I receive, I need to give. Embracing my “wants” in my man, made me become that! and made me attract the man of my vision. And it worked!

I realized, I will never have control in what other people may think of me, what they say about me, what other people told them about me… all this I have no control of. BUT, I can control ME. People will always have something negative to say, but at the end of the day, what matters is what I am saying to myself! People may pressure me because, I do not conform to their social ways, but that doesn’t matter, for as long as I know who I am and what direction I am going, then I am fine.

And true enough, at 24 I had my share. I guess, I’m a very late bloomer.. a caterpillar stuck! but in time flew.. unique and different!


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I Miss My Family.

I miss my Mommy and Daddy.

I miss my brothers.

… will miss their weddings!

I miss our house in Lucena.

… walking in our neighborhood, Bulgaria St. to gate ng Better Living and back and forth

I miss my cousins, aunties and relatives.

… birthday parties, chikahan, kwentuhan, New Year’s eve reunion!

I miss my friends in Better Living.

… Buddy’s and Palaisdaan chika galore and nights out just to talk our hearts out.

I miss my friends in Lingkod ng Panginoon.

… fellowships and prayer meetings

… Cesar and Penny’s house madalas dito meetings e

I miss my friends in LCNHS.

…. mukmukan, mani sa kanto and chami sa plaza!

… walkathon and text galore with Tina, chikahan with Chenezes

I miss Jollibee’s Chicken Joy, Chowking’s Halo Halo, Hen Lin’s Siomai

… St. Ferdinand Church, Our Lady of Lourdes Church..

I miss palengke and jeepneys.

I miss mga tindahan sa kanto

… bili chichiria

I miss our house in Lucena, ung gate, ung garahe, ung door, ung sala, ung kitchen, ung dirty kitchen.. ung munti naming house sa likod.

I miss my relatives and friends.

Most of all…

I miss Daddy.

I miss Mommy.

So much 😦

… tagal ng lotto

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Against the Tide

This is the “ending part” in my 7 page – historiographical essay on Chinese Exclusion Act written for the American Reformers – Summer Institute class we had at Loyola University (under Dr. Judith Hunt). Just want to share it with you.

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AGAINST THE TIDE

If the past defines the future, then real understanding of the past is essential to undo, unlearn, relearn, or simply to accept the present and hope for the best in the future. The Chinese Exclusion Act happened for a reason. Be it because of racism or political opportunism, it would continue to be debated upon by some of the finest minds and the newest Ph.D.-minted members of the historians’ profession, in the words of Lyman. Based on facts and what media is presenting, I feel, it could really be racism that triggered the passing of the Act… but what pursued the Act to be signed may be another matter.

It is of human nature to pull down, degrade and demean people to put themselves in the pedestal. Social Darwinism. Sometimes, what they fail to realize is the oneness of us all. The boomerang effect. That we are simply mirroring ourselves with how we relate to others, be it of different color, sex, race, religion and origin.

How historians battle with words and ideas is simply relieving how Chinese were put down, how Chinese tried to fight against the tide, how politicians weighed them in their hands. Racism or political opportunism, who really knows? Except those who passed it and signed it. We can only perceive what happened and make it the reality. We will never know the motives behind. We will never know if it had been done in haste, in emotional outbursts, justly, rightfully or acting out of faith.

There will forever be force and counterforce in knowing the truth, and that really matters. The fact that the Chinese Exclusion Act was extended for another 10 years through the Geary Act of 1892 and made permanent in 1902 may also be debated upon for years and years.

But what I think matters now is you. How are you as a person relating to your neighbor Chinese, Vietnamese, Filipino, Japanese, etc? Or maybe not even that, how are you relating to your own brothers and sisters? How are you feeling when you looked at them in the eye? Because right now, all I can think of is how my students make fun of me as they mock Manchu owners in the way they ask for their orders. I am not Chinese and I don’t need to be, because all I see is system that is either promising or decaying, a humanity that needs to go back to the basics and look within for answers. For I know, no matter how educated and ideological a person is, if he can look at any person in the eye and see himself then he’s changed.


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