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180 degree

“Lord, give me a boyfriend, pleaseeeeeeee….” I was 15 then and I still had no boyfriend. I belonged to NBSB club – No Boyfriend Since Birth! My life was going well though, I was getting A’s in school, and yes, I had boys as friends but never a boyfriend!!!

Oh I had fun memories with boys.. I had this neighbor who was my long time crush, he’s just so good-looking.. I really liked him!!! So, I went to this very small store in our subdivision, and as I was walking, minding my business, singing and humming.and then I looked up.. OMG, my long time crush was staring at me with smile on his face.. my heart thumped so fast that when I took another step towards him, my slipper slipped off my feet!!! I was so embarrassed, but to show him how confident I was, I continued singing and humming as I went back to get my slippers! :0

One more, when I was a freshman in high school, I met this senior guy, that every time he’d see me, he’d tease me to his friend, who’s also a senior! There’s this one time when I was in the playground playing in the monkey bars (hey, I was only 13 then, I could play!) and then he saw me and from afar  shouted ‘Gemmmaaaaaa!! (that’s my name), here’s ‘theboyyyyy’!!!!’ and the whole senior class just roared in laughter!!!! I was soooooo embarrassed that I was not sure anymore how I handled the situation! :0

Having been educated in a Catholic private school my whole life, I was brought into thinking that girls could only wait, until a guy courts you, then all you have to do is wait.

So I waited.. and waited… and waited… I graduated high school and college and I still waited..

But I was proactive too, I looked out for guys everywhere, in the public bus, in the library, in the church, in the classroom, in the cafeteria, in the restaurants. I started conversations, even befriended them.. but still nada…

What’s worst is when I attend family gatherings, ask who’s the center of attention (or so I thought)? Yeah.. ME!! Gemma, you mean to say you still have no boyfriend yet?; Gemma, you are getting old, you should look for a man already; Gemma, it’s about time… over and over and over; year after year after year…

Fed up with how I perceived people as controlling me. I made a decision. I turned around.. 180 degree turn and learned my lesson… What’s the lesson? Mmmmm.. what’s the lesson? good question..

The lesson: To never GIVE UP! I continued to hope and continued to pray… “Lord…” but at the same time, I prepared myself emotionally, mentally, physically and spiritually,,, I buried myself in self-help books ‘How to find a man in 10 days” or something of that sort (lol), I attended leadership training seminars (I could find him there right?).. I exercised (nothing beats a sexy body! lol!) I became myself… man should love me for who I am and what not (right?) .. and I continued to imagine and declared to the Universe what I want.

Well, there’s a truth in the saying, when it rains, it pours! Because it did pour, at that time Guy #1, Guy #2, Guy #3, did come..

And then I was in control.. who to choose.. mmm but that’s another story…

Well, I am sorry but I totally disagree with Jerry Mcguire’s “you complete me”. No, no, no, no.. no one completes you but you. You are already complete!

I may have been pressured to find a boyfriend in my 20’s because of media and the world howling at me that it is the right thing to do. It took me so long to realize that no one completes me but me, I may be single then, but I was complete and I need to make sure I am whole first before going into a relationship.. otherwise, it’ll be a mess .

Sad, but the truth is we so hate waiting that most of us just jump at every relationship and just easily open our hearts to the first guy who says I love you, or to the guy who buys us this or buys us that… sad..

I’ll forever be grateful to all my friends, family and relatives for pushing me the way they did. I will not have become the person that I am now, without the fun and the sad times..

Waiting did work out for me. I waited for a year… errr.. yearsss!!!, and that waiting period made me become stronger, learned and capable of handling relationships. Yes, building relationship is hard work because it involves decision and commitment.

Maybe God willed for me to wait that long, to preserve myself to the person that He prepared for me.

In the end, I didn’t actually find him, you know…  my boyfriend-turned-husband found me. All in due time, all in His time and all because of the 180 degree turn. 🙂

*** Toastmaster’s Speech #4

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“You’ve got nothing better to do!” ,“You better get out of my face!”, “I can’t do this.. I’m just Filipino!”

Every day, every minute, negativity surrounds us. The moment we wake up we hear bad news in the radio, TV, internet. The thing is, it is not only in the news that we hear negativity; it’s from the people around us, people we love, our friends, our co-workers… There will always be people who make us feel inferior, people who whine too much, people who disrespect us, people who put us down, people who abuse us. But do you know what the worst kind is? The worst kind is when that person is none other than our very own selves.

The scenario is we cannot avoid negativity or toxicity in our lives. It will always be around us and within us.

The good news is there’s a way out! Thank God!

The question is how do we do that? How do we live our lives amidst the negativity? How do we shape our outer world in such a way that it would protect our inner selves?

First things first, we must remember that our lives are a perfect reflection of our beliefs. What do we believe in? That we are a very important person and that people should treat us accordingly? Or are we the kind of person who is never… or who is always… it keeps us in a box!.. or You know what, people should love me back, they should praise me, they should be grateful! Should, should, should!

When we don’t expect others to behave in any particular fashion, we’ll  have more peace of mind. It’s not actually what happens to us, but how we see it. For as long as we only see negativity, “victim mode”, then the more friends will put us down, more bosses will criticize us, more husbands will abuse us. Events will just unfold according to our expectations. So we really be careful by what we believe in, even by what our thoughts are leading us,  because it’s very powerful.

Second, We have the power to choose. We can always say no to people who encourage our addiction, who constantly hurt us and those who invalidate us. We can choose our friends. Do you know who invalidators are? According to Bo Sanchez,  They are whiners, but worst kind, because these are people who don’t criticize the world, they criticize us! When we share our dreams, our goals, our plans to them, they will roll up their eyes and shake their heads. They just seem to know-it-all, they believe they know everything about us and our future more than God. So let us not be victims, let’s get rid of all abusers, invalidators, controllers, manipulators or parasites in our lives.

And last but not the least, Acceptance.  Acceptance is the key. That’s the only way we can love people, and if we cannot accept them, then we need to change. Anyway, our mission in life is not to change the world, our mission is to change ourselves according to Andrew Matthews. We see people not as they are but as we are.  So our experience of the world is actually us experiencing ourselves. What works is when we work on ourselves, not trying to change other people, what works is when we work on ourselves and not trying to change the world.

The scenario: we cannot avoid negativity or toxicity in our lives. It will always be around us and within us.

The question now is how do we take it in? How mature are we to take responsibility for our thoughts and actions?

The best ending for this is the Serenity Prayer.. “Lord, grant me the serenity to accept the things that I cannot change, the courage to change the things that I can and the wisdom to know the difference.”

Amen.

Toastmaster Speech #3

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Copied from my other Blog World of Thoughts
Last edited by Gigi on April 27, 2011 at 12:32 am

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I visited Gallup Storytellers Toastmasters Club last Thursday. I was excited to be attending one again. The last time was like 10 years ago! I have kind-of-forgotten how it goes and my memory was refreshed seeing prepared speeches, table topics -impromptu speeches, grammarian, time and ah-counter and toastmaster of the day.. The meeting started at 6:30 AM, and since I was on spring break, it was a real effort to wake up that early and be in the meeting place on time!

I was given all the materials (flyers, brochures, application form) I need to renew my membership, plus the encouragement from the members. The club has been in existence since June 1, 1992. They currently have around 15 members, there were only 10 Thursday.

Well, up to now, I have not decided, if I will join again or not!

I have a lot of excuses in mind.. time factor, only 10 members?, and the putting forth effort again!

Although I know the benefits and advantages of joining a Toastmasters club surpasses all my excuses, I still can’t help but make up excuses!

Oh! What a Spaghetti Brain I am!!!

I am just reminded of the 4 Thinkers and how I fit in one, no two, no three!

First, we have Star Shooters.. these are people who achieve their goals! They create results! They make things happen! They use their obstacles as stepping-stones and boom they get what they want! .. With the rate I am going now, I am yet far from one!

Second, the Problem Seekers.. these are those who always see problems until they become the problem themselves! They are the “Yeah, but..”, They are always looking for something that is wrong! They are very focused on their obstacles!.. Yeah, I think I am kind-a like this today!

Third are Spaghetti Brains.. They have so many goals, so many sub goals. They start something up but won’t finish it.. Yeah spaghetti brains! Like me! Sucks!

Fourth kind of thinker is the Spectator.. These are those who have never went beyond the obstacles because they have forgotten how to dream. They have no goals.. Oh wait! There goals are to just watch TV, go to work, go home.. and just do the same things over and over again…which leads me to realize how I am a spectator…

Well…

I could come up with all the excuses again why it’s perfectly OKAY to be spectators, spaghetti brains and problem seekers.. BUT Easter was just yesterday! and He’s not given excuses for coming back to life. He’s fulfilled His goal. Why can’t I?

Becoming a star shooter is the one and only way I can get ahead, with my laziness and passivity to making my life colorful again, creating memories, controlling my life, living at the edge, taking the risk, learning lessons and making a difference!

The one and only way of fulfilling my dreams… so I guess, I’ve no more excuses!

Carpe Diem!

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